Introduction

Tuesday, 5 September 2023.

I don't remember when and why and how I started writing. Out of knowingness I embarked on this voyage of hand writing forecasted by my willingness to express. I do not foremind the act of deceiving for I mislead my own devices every so often. The disposition constantly demolishes reality. Inadequate of significance and aspiration, though I retain shortcomings.

I go by the name of Postor A.K.A Impostor. I go by a lot of personages, one of which is the one writing this autobiography and won't let me sleep till I am blank of words. My eyes have not yet rested for the last 36 hours. The brain does do a lot of work, Creating scenarios and plays. which I allow to act in reality. I began talking alone, discussing things to my students. I began lecturing them about good conduct and manners. I also have this episode where I pretend to have an interview with a boss, I started with an introduction and began talking to him my failures and traumatic experiences thus I do not have any achievement to share or boast and somehow I can see a child from the very bottom of the sea, sitting in the dark, alone. Then I began to feel a little bit cold and lonely. Now I understand how I feel and where was I the whole time. There was this wall which I never knew existed. I guess I created this wall for the past years of my existence. Without knowing I was building it. Without knowing that I have filtered my past with good memories. and not accepting what had really happened before. I enjoyed my daily life as nothing was happened and left this side of me locked up in a room. never to be opened again. This cause would have when it occurred to me the most stressful part of my life. which I was so powerless and I do not have the capacity to do things on my own. Tears drop falling down my cheek as I realize what had happened. and where was the scar came from. I cannot help but feel sorry for my self for being so weak in the past that the only coping mechanism that was created was to create a false reality of life. | Now that I am stronger and wiser I know I can face these challenges that is before me. The soul has been satisfied. and the owner of this device shall rest for the mean time. Good bye.